TBT: With Love to My Belly

Content Warning: Discussion of body/weight fluctuations

The first Thursday of February Photofest 2020 and here is a throwback. Last year I posted a version of this photo. It was particularly vulnerable because I was sharing the struggle of how my body has changed, that I’ve gained a lot of weight in recent years and a lot of it has gone to my belly.

Over the last year, I’ve been on a real journey around making peace with my belly. It’s been incredible. It’s almost like night and day. The acceptance, and even pleasure I can have now that includes my belly is astounding.

Recently when I was showering I had a moment of noticing. This is something I will do occasionally as a part of my overall Erotic Embodiment practice – simply pausing and noticing sensations as they come up. On this particular occasion, I noticed that the towel I dry off with actually closed around me. This hasn’t happened in long while.

Over the past couple of months I have lost some weight. As someone who has been working on being okay with and even loving their body as is, it’s been a confusing time for me. I think I will always have a tiny voice in the back recesses of my mind cheering for being smaller. I don’t want that voice to take center stage. At the same time, I cannot deny that these thoughts and feelings are coming up.

In the meantime, I strive to be present in the body I have, to soak in sensations and experiences. I want to spend everyday cultivating my erotic embodiment.

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