Comparing Erotic Practices: Orgasmic Yoga & Orgasmic Meditation
In the five years I have been facilitating Orgasmic Yoga (also known as OYoga or Erotic Embodiment Practice) a question I have received with some amount of frequency has been how OYoga and OM, or Orgasmic Meditation, are the same or different.
Back in the days of Periscope (is that still a thing?) I did a video where I talked about the similarities and differences of these two erotic practices. I don’t use the Periscope platform anymore, but I have some of those streams still available on my YouTube channel. If you’re interested in a more audio-visual post you can take a look at this video from several hair styles and colors-ago.
Understandably, folks might have some trepidation when considering attending erotic workshops as opposed to a talk-only class. So knowing a little bit about each of the practices might help you decide if they are right for you or if they are practices you’d prefer to only do at home.
Full disclosure: I have never attended, nor practiced, Orgasmic Meditation. What I know of it, comes from reading posts, articles, and personal discussions over the last several years. I want to also want to explicitly say I am intentionally not linking to anything OM. A simple google search can give you a lot of info, the good, the bad, etc.
With that said, I will begin with Orgasmic Meditation and then go on to talk about OYoga.
Orgasmic Meditation
The understanding and impression that I have about Orgasmic Meditation is that it is often, maybe not always, heterocentric (with a male do-er/stroker and female receiver) and it is a formulaic practice where the pair is seated in a specific way while a portion of the clitoris is stroked for about 15 minutes. The goal is not orgasm, but more about bringing awareness to the body, to the connection. OM is meant to happen in a specific container with little to no deviation from practice to practice. It is also my understanding that the organization that started, or branded, OM is no longer facilitating classes/workshops for this hands on practice.
In private discussions I have had with individuals I’ve gotten the sense that the men in the duo really love the practice. My personal reaction to that was unsurprised mixed with discomfort at wondering whether the enjoyment was mutual or with full communication and consent.
Without going into any specifics, because as I said above, a google search will give you more information, and because nothing has been said to me specifically, there have been reports of misconduct or abusing the power dynamic within the OM setting within the more organized practices. It’s easy to see how a power dynamic could be abused, either by leadership, or by the person doing the stroking. It would not be surprising that the person having their clitoris touched could feel vulnerable, scared, unable to speak up, or go into a fight, flight, freeze, fawn mode (has also been referred to as fight, flight, freeze, flirt; or fight, flight, freeze, appease).
I think it makes sense that the average sex enthusiast or even “sex geek” to be excited or titillated by the idea of touching another person’s genitals, maybe even a stranger. Let me be clear, in a vacuum, there’s nothing wrong with that, nothing that needs to be shamed. However, it is at least a little concerning when considering vetting; Who-all is interested and invited to attend a workshop. What are their intentions? What other erotic practices do they have experience around? Are they well versed in active, on-going consent?
Within the broader context of that particular conversation I mentioned above, the point I and another sexuality/kink educator were trying to get at, is that there needs to be some respect for building up to such an erotic practice. It’s like learning to run before you crawl; like learning quadratic equations before arithmetic. Sexuality and mindfulness both have elements of cumulativeness where they build on previous lessons like knowing yourself pretty well, having a good grasp on boundaries, communication, and consent.
The notions of having a specific container (even with a time restriction), having one giver and one receiver for a time period, moving away from being goal-oriented, and going through a structured or formulaic process evokes sensate focus.
Sensate focus therapy was a methodology created by Masters and Johnson. It’s a brilliant concept for folks who need to reconnect intimately and relearn pleasure and sensation. I particularly like that it is exploration that isn’t immediately reciprocated. Each partner gets their time as receiver and giver which is great for encouraging mindfulness and presence without necessarily being concerned about “performing” for the other person.
At the core of Orgasmic Meditation (which can certainly be done at home), is this concept of focusing on the present, noticing subtle feelings, and exploring our or our partners’ genitals, and other erogenous zones.
Orgasmic Yoga
Having facilitated over fifty circles at this point, you could say that I have lots of experience with Orgasmic Yoga. I was first introduced to this practice when going through Sexological Bodywork training. While this practice can certainly be done with a partner with boundaries laid out for the session, it’s most commonly practiced solo on one’s own or solo within a group setting.
Orgasmic Yoga is an erotic embodiment practice that uses similar principles of yoga, like breath, movement, awareness, mindfulness, intention (not necessarily specific poses like downward dog, etc.), and weaves these into our self pleasure practice. It is not only about the bits between our legs, but the practice welcomes and includes that sort of exploration. OYoga is not about having all the orgasms, but rather building and spreading arousal and erotic energy from head to toe and everywhere in between. Orgasmic Yoga, in general encourages us to focus on in the present sensations that can be generated and to move us away (at least a bit) from porn viewing and fantasy – both of which are great, but can sometimes be disassociating.
I’ve done OYoga on my own as well as in groups and both can be incredibly profound. There’s a different dynamic that is able to unfold within a communal space because a group energy forms even though there are boundaries in place, such as no eye gazing and no touching. Some level of communal erotic energy is unavoidable and it will vary from session to session.
Let me backtrack a bit and explain the structure of an OYoga or Erotic Embodiment Practice (as I facilitate it). Firstly, it is open to folks of all body types, genders, expressions, and orientations as long as they are 18+. There is time for chatting before and after the actual practice. The practice itself runs about 45 minutes long (30-ish if it’s solo at home) has a range of ways that one can participate; from fully clothed, blanket up to their chin, breathing and doing kegels all the way to fully nude from the get-go using toys and the whole nine yards. Often, the level of participation falls somewhere in the middle of that spectrum.
While I invite all the ways of participation I never require that folks take their clothes off. I never require that anyone touches their bits. All of the suggestions I speak aloud during my guidance are just that – suggestions. These are invitations to explore and expand our erotic menus, to encourage everyone to slow down in their pleasure exploration, to give some choice in the moment, particularly because it can be overwhelming to be in this space with no idea how to actually participate.
After the 45 minutes of the practice, we go into about 5 minutes of silent savoring. This is followed by a very quick check-in. Then folks can get dressed and use the restroom as needed. Lastly, we have a chance for more discussion where I invite them to also share any less-than-positive or confused feelings as well. I don’t want to have it sound like the practice is always unicorns, rainbows, and glitter. There is learning in that discomfort, confusion, sadness, shame, and so on.
Each Orgasmic Yoga circle has a different vibe depending on how many people attend, whether they’ve been before, and of course the myriad reasons that have brought folks into the space. Some practices are a bit more erotically charged, others are a bit more exploratory or tentative. I wouldn’t say one is better than another.
I don’t claim to solve all the things if folks attend one, or even multiple practices, but I do hope I’m giving permission to explore pleasure and one’s body in a safe, sex positive, body positive, affirming, intentional way.
Lastly, the OYoga practice is a great one for folks whether they have a partner or not because it does concentrate on what one does within the timeframe. No matter where you are in your sexual or erotic journey, where you are in life, or on a particular day, we can show up in the practice authentically whether we are in an explicitly erotic mood. Scheduling that time, whether in a group setting or solo, can be a huge part of self-care. Adding mindful breath, movement, sound, touch, and intention deepens that practice.
Final Thoughts
Having the ability or luxury to attend a workshop – or several – can be a huge investment in one’s erotic growth. The accountability of being in a group setting is almost undeniable – even if they choose not to take me up on the invitations and suggestions.
At the core of these erotic practices (and these are only two) is exploring pleasure, boundaries, and learning how to become present in our bodies and desires. The more practice we have, the easier it is to dive in and become embodied as well as communicate our needs with partners.
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For more on the Orgasmic Yoga practice you can check out the class description, which also has dates of events coming up, or browse these posts:
Practice Makes Practice: What I Learned from Six Weeks of Orgasmic Yoga
What I Learned from a Month of Daily Orgasmic Yoga
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