Who Are You Sexually?

EDIT April 30, 2017: I’ve been meaning to do this edit/note for a while now, but it kept slipping off my radar since this is an older post. The Genderbread Person is highly problematic. You can read more about that here. I have replaced that with the Gender Unicorn which is way cuter and more expansive anyway.

This question came to me during my first class back at the Institute this trimester. It was during a conversation I had in my class of one (yes, small class). John Bilorusky, President at the Western Institute for Social Research – WISR, was my professor for a class on research methods.

Since I am not one who plans to do much in the way of research, we ended up discussing less traditional kinds of research. Beyond that, we really delved into ways of expanding your knowledge. The idea of having blinders versus antennae, meaning very narrow or more open views.

John challenged me to start keeping a journal to foster ideas which would be really helpful in terms of my blog writing. Now, I’ll be perfectly honest, it’s extremely tough to add another thing on top of everything else I need to be doing so I’m not sure how faithful I’ll be to that one. However, even as we were talking, I came up with a great essay type of question which is very open-ended.

Thus, the title of this blog: Who are you sexually?

I’m sorry to disappoint my readers, but this isn’t one of those blogs with a lot of self-disclosure. It’s not meant for me to just ramble on and on about my turn-ons and and what my favorite things are, but rather this is to increase our awareness.

What a lot of sexologists and sex positive people often seem to harp on about is self-pleasuring. Getting to know how your body works. Find out the kinds of touch you enjoy and where you want to be touched. Learning about your own body by yourself first, will give you a huge advantage to incorporating what you like into partnered sex. Hopefully, knowing your own body, will give you the confidence and self-esteem to be able to confidently talk to your partner(s) about what you like, want, and need.

I challenge you to try a few new things which are a little out of your comfort zone and see if you can’t find something new and sexy that you enjoy.

A lot of the time (though we may have no conscious realization that it’s happening), we are pressured to have labels and to be forced into boxes. While I do see the need to have labels to some extent (it makes identifying something much simpler), it really limits people and does not allow for full expression.

There are many, many aspects to who we are. Just sticking within sexuality, there are tons of elements that make you you.

• Who you are sexually attracted to;
• Who you prefer to have relationships with;
• Who you like to fantasize about;
• What gender you identify as (whether that is or isn’t in line with your biological sex gender assigned at birth. updated July 2020);
• What gender you mainly portray yourself as.

And on and on. Gender and sexuality are both more fluid than you might realize. Each day is a new one where you can decide which element of yourself you wish to share with the world. In the end we are all human and share similar experiences despite where we fall on some predetermined scale. YOU define who you are and what your interests are.

So, challenge yourself to try something new. Read a new sexy book. Write your own sexy story. Fantasize. 

***As a side note: please feel free to write comments! I love comments, and can’t get enough! If you have suggestions for blog topics (stuff you want to read about) let me know! I can’t promise that I will answer everything, but I will do my best! Thanks for reading!!***