As always, I have to gush over Crash Pad. Episode 230 was phenomenal as ever, but not for the obvious reasons. I’ll mention the unexpected first. It’s not so much bad, as I kind of wish there had been more “sex.” But that’s a me problem, not a them problem. And to be clear, it’s not even a problem. The sex felt a little like an afterthought to me. It turns out it wasn’t so much an afterthought as easing back into sexuality, as was mentioned in the Behind the Scenes clip. (I’m starting to wonder whether I should watch the BTS before I watch the scene so that I have more context.)
The BTS gives us so much insight into the experiences of the performers than we may have otherwise had. We’re only human, but it’s possible (as I kind of mentioned above) that we’re watching the scene from our own lenses, overlaying our own fantasies and kinks onto the goings on. It was great to hear that while they had spoken (before filming) about the menu of sexy options that could have happened, what did happen was only a small bit of that spectrum of activities. To be fair to them, the episodes only run about half an hour long. I totally could have watched them for at least another hour. It was super sweet and hot.
I appreciated Jetta Rae‘s sweet authenticity in the BTS where she calls out a few difficult topics that, I think, many watching will appreciate. Related to the body, ideas around attractiveness, desirability, and size she mentioned that it was important to her to do this particular shoot to be an example to others, to know that they are allowed to feel sexy and dirty (in a sex positive way).
I wanted to do this, in part, because I want people…our age, like in their thirties.. like, people who.. are fat.. people who have hard to reach body hair that they can’t shave.. people with you know.. zits on their tits.. I want people to see that we are capable of filth. — Jetta Rae
Another point made by both Kitty and Jetta was about reconnecting intimately with a long term partner. Kitty found that the safe container of Crash Pad was a great space to use to find their connection again.
A note about body confidence and fat positivity
(In which I tweeted during my live tweet:)
— Dr. Victoria Reuveni (@DrVixenne) January 11, 2017
Here’s the thing (to bring it back to myself), as a fat cis woman, I feel like overall I have a lot of body confidence and move through the world like I belong here and fuck anyone who disagrees, but maybe it’s been a while, certainly in any partnered sexual activity, since I moved with such authority. That was something that struck me about Kitty Stryker. Perhaps there’s also the difference with her being more of a top-heavy switch where as I’m more of a bottom-heavy switch? I don’t think really so. When I’m really feeling myself I do get that “look at me” vibe that emanates from within.
Pardon my self-indulgent tangent; it’s the eve before my birthday and between that and it being a new year, I’ve been particularly self-reflective.
Big thanks to the folks at Crash Pad for letting me review their work! I love what you do and I can’t wait to review more!
If you need hot queer, ethical, feminist porn in your life including this episode and many others – and you really do – click the links in this review or the banner below. Seriously, buy the porn. Support the performers.
[I received a subscription to Crash Pad for free in exchange for my honest review.]