It had been a long, long time since I’d experienced a hands-on session as the receiver. I can’t even recall how long it had been. It just goes to show that I forget. I forget just how amazing and liberating it is to simply let go. Not to just be passive and have things done to me, though there is a small element of that, but to have a bodyworker who reminds me to move, try out various kinds of breathing, and play around with that resilient edge of resistance. This is not the same thing as not giving consent.
The resilient edge of resistance (RER) is that “place” where you’re borderline uncomfortable with something. Exploring and pushing your RER is not about doing things you don’t want to do, or being uncomfortable for the sake of being uncomfortable, it is about doing the things you generally don’t do. But often the most growth could happen if you work with it and move through it. For me, it was firmly keeping my eyes closed through the session. My bodyworker encouraged me to open my eyes and just check it out. There were certainly laughs and musings aloud wondering where to look and how to be in the moment with it. And all of that is okay.
It was such a treat to experience a session as a sexological bodyworker who now practices because I got to experience another person’s style and have fully open and honest loop of communication. I also felt honored to be a part of their journey to become a practitioner as they are still going through their training.
Overall, I felt that this experience will enrich the hands-on work I do with my clients. Without a doubt it helped to replenish my own touch deprivation. It was a sort of mini-refresher, too. It was a perfect experience to remind me how to do certain parts of the work, or names of various kinds of breaths or touch.
One of the things I took away from this is bodyworkers also need to experience touch. There is only so much giving one can do before feeling depleted. Without a doubt it is a fine balance.