I’m all about masturbation! I don’t think it needs to necessarily be relegated to one month. This pleasure practice should be happening all year long! As often as YOU want to do it!
National Masturbation Month was introduced in 1995 by the sex-toy store Good Vibrations, in response to the dismissal of U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders (HuffPo).
Dr. Elders presented the idea that masturbation is an acceptable practice for (young) people to engage in as a basic human right that has the potential to decrease risky sex. Then Clinton fired her. It was the 90s. But organizations like Good Vibrations (who I adore!) are all about pleasure being beautiful and valid – whether one is partnered or not – and they sponsor events to that effect.
Whether solo pleasure is something you do every day or hardly ever, here are just some ideas to freshen up your practice:
1. Experiment with different positions. Often we get into patterns in many parts of our lives. These habits tend to be comforting or are time tested in giving us the results we want. This goes for how we order our coffee, the route we drive to work, and how we self pleasure.
Whether you are someone who loves to lay on your back, or sit at the computer, come up with a different position to pleasure yourself. This has less to do with easy pathways to a sure orgasm and more to do with beginning to create new pathways in the brain. If we play with a variety of positions when we masturbate we are allowing ourselves to open up to much more flexibility in experiencing pleasure.
If you like to lay on your back, try getting onto your knees if you can. If you tend to sit upright at the computer while pleasuring yourself, try standing. You are only limited to your imagination.
2. Incorporate breath. This might be a little in the neighborhood of “woo,” but go with it. The more we breathe, the more we feel. So why should we short change ourselves when we self pleasure? Hello! At the very least, try and be conscious of your breath.
If you hold it when you are getting close to orgasm (or at any point) just shake yourself mentally and breathe normally. You might try to imagine a loop or a circle. As you inhale through your nose, draw up the energy from your genitals (you might do a kegel) let it travel up your spine and exhale the energy out of your mouth and send it back down between your legs. Just experiment with it. Have fun!
3. Add a heart connection. Yeah, this is also borderline woo. Roll with me. On the one hand, I’m suggesting incorporating touch all over the body and not just of the genitals. I’m also saying literally put one hand on your heart while the other is using a vibrator or stroking deliciously.
You can go at it with an intention in mind like being grateful for the pleasure your body generates, or while thinking or saying positive, body affirming messages. Or you might simply just feel your heart beating under your fingers while your body moves through the stages of the sexual response cycle.
As always, have fun with it! Do things you enjoy. If you’re looking to try out new lubes or toys check out my faves for some ideas, visit the sales and deals page I’ve compiled (and update constantly), and I invite you to check out the amazing companies I affiliate with in the sidebar.
Happy Masturbation Month!